Nothing Left To Lose
by D.B.R Hazlewoode
Summary: 3x24 after the fade. Montgomery's dead, and it seems Beckett is on her way. Everyone is attempting to come to terms with the tragedy when an unexpected visitor arrives. Confused, hurt, and betrayed again, Ryan and Esposito must make a choice. M for safety
1. Nothing Left To Lose

**_A/N: Hi everyone! I'm back! Sorry it took so long. Thanks for giving this a chance. I know there's going to be TONS of post Knockout fics. Hopefully I bring something new to the table. I can't promise regular updates, because I have finals to study for..and a Criminal Minds challenge fic to start. But I promise I will update. Just not every day. And for everyone who watched Castle last night: did you cry? I _sobbed. _I'm not even kidding. I couldn't even fall asleep! Anyways, give this time, and thanks for reading! Yours till the wheels fall off ;)_**

"_**And I found myself in a bitter fight, while I've held your hand through the darkest night. Don't know where you're coming from but you're coming soon.."-Matt Kearney**_

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><p>Chapter One<p>

Javier Esposito and Kevin Ryan were dead on their feet. Through the entire three hours Beckett had been in surgery, they had stood vigil in the waiting room, still clothed in their full uniforms. When Kate had made it through alive and had been moved into her own room, they had stood outside of it as well, as she hadn't been allowed visitors. There was nothing more that the pair wanted to do than go home and forget everything. But they couldn't. There was no Montgomery to tell them to get some sleep. Not anymore. Lanie sidled up to Javier, and with a touch as gentle as a butterfly, placed her hand on his arm. He flinched, and then sighed, rubbing his eyes in frustration, confusion, and sheer exhaustion.

"Lanie," he said softly, more of a question than anything. She studied him for a moment.

"Go home," she said at last. But Esposito was already shaking his head.

"You know I can't. I can't leave Kate. She's-"

"Family," Lanie whispered, "I know. She's my family, too. And she's safe here."

"She's not safe, and that's the problem!" he exploded, dangerously loud, "If she was safe, she wouldn't be in the hospital with a bullet hole in her chest!" Kevin approached from behind and wrapped his arm around his partner so that his fist lay over Javier's heart.

"Calm, bro." He nodded.

"Lo siento, Lanie, it's just..." he murmured, _I'm sorry. _

"Don't apologize, baby. I feel too. But the mayor sent them over," she pointed to a small army of police officers, "So please. Go home. Get some rest. Just get out of here," she gestured to Ryan, "And take Kevin, too." Javier considered for a moment, and then nodded.

"Okay. I'll go. We'll go. But make sure they take good care of her. I'm serious." Lanie smiled sadly and kissed his cheek.

"I will."

"Let's go," Kevin said. The partners wandered from the hospital, more or less holding each other up.

* * *

><p>Kevin and Javier had gone to a nameless bar, gotten good and drunk, and then returned to Ryan's, where they had fallen into a silent, mindless game of Madden. Before they'd taken a drink, they hadn't known what to think. Now, they gratefully settled into their alcohol induced haze. Finally, somewhere near four hours later, Javier had hit pause, and Kevin turned the power off. They continued to stare at the blank screen.<p>

"What are we gonna do now, man?" Kevin slurred. Javier dropped his controller and threw himself back against the couch.

"I don't know. This is so effed up bro. It's frickin' insane." He hadn't meant to, but somehow Esposito had broken into a fit of incredulous laughter. Ryan stared at him for a moment, and then burst into hysteria as well. The two laughed for somewhere near five minutes before they calmed themselves. They didn't know what they were going to be up against. Everything was different. Kevin opened his mouth to speak, but was cut short by the buzzer.

"Was that the door? Who's here, man? You know you don't have any friends besides me!"

"I don't-You know what, your mom. It's your mom." Javier pointed at him, nearly breaking into another fit of laughter.

"Don't talk about my momma, brother. Partners or not, I'll kick your ass." Ryan stumbled over to the door, tripping over the controversial red couch and nearly collapsing to the floor. He buzzed him in and grabbed the doorknob. When he caught sight of his visitor, he instantly sobered.

"What are you doing here? I mean, how..?"

* * *

><p>Castle burst into the hospital, disheveled, drained, and wearing the suit he'd donned earlier. Kate's blood had dried on his shirt, but he couldn't bear to change.<p>

"Is she awake?" He was breathless. Lanie walked over and enveloped him in a hug. This time there was no friendly teasing, no jokes about 'the girls'. She held him out at arm's length.

"She's starting to wake up. The surgery went fine, and the doctors said she'd be fine." Lanie sounded about as stable as she felt. It was amazing that she hadn't managed to dissolve completely yet. She would, she knew would. Just..not yet. There was no time to. The air seemed to leave Castle, and Richard fell against Lanie in relief. In all her years...she had never seen the writer like this. The seconds after Kate had gone down, Richard looked like he'd taken the hit, too. The way he held onto her for dear life..it made her heart hurt. But maybe now..maybe now they would be able to figure each other out. Maybe.

"Can I..am I..should..I..um.." Lanie pressed a finger to his lips to stop his stumbling.

"Go." But he couldn't.


	2. Forever Or Never

_**A/N: Hi guys! I don't have much to say today, so I'll just post. I did, however, discover the line break button! Rejoice! I have to get on this criminal minds fic...gosh. Anyway, hope you enjoy the update. I've already rewatched Knockout so many times. Can't get over it. Yours till the wheels fall off ;)**_

"_**Don't believe in miracles, I never did..I'm not gonna live forever, said I'm not gonna live forever.."-Cinema Bizarre**_

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><p>Chapter Two<p>

Lanie had left Richard to his own devices. Castle felt frozen, and he hated himself for it. That was beginning to become a problem. He'd waited too long with Beckett before. He'd seen the way the sun had glanced off the weapon the first time, but hadn't acted until he saw it again. If he'd have moved quicker, reacted faster, _something, _Kate's shooting could have been avoided. Richard made himself a promise, right there: There would be no more waiting, no more hesitation. He walked in to see Beckett.

Esposito seemed to sense the seriousness of the matter (whatever it was), and shoved up from the accursed red couch.

"Who is it?" His voice continued to slur, though his mind was beginning to clear up. He made his way to his partner and stumbled back a step. He, like Ryan, instantly became sober. Javier gripped the door for support. Kevin turned to Esposito.

"Is that really..?" Javier shook his head.

"No. It's impossible. Can't be," his voice rose, "No way in _hell. _You're not here right now. You're..you're _dead._" Roy Montgomery stepped through the doorway and looked down at his boys. He nodded at them both.

"Kevin. Javier."

* * *

><p>Kate Beckett felt as though she was fading in and out of consciousness. Images from the past few days flitted in and out of her memory, always so far away..always too far away to grasp. She turned her head and allowed her eyes to slide open. The room was dim, and it seemed to spin. She closed her eyes again and wondered if what little she could remember was a dream. Maybe..<p>

"Kate?" She opened her eyes again and waited for them to focus. Beckett gasped.

"Castle." Simply saying his name seemed to take all of her energy. But then she spoke again.

"Where were you?"

* * *

><p>"Where were you?" The question pierced his heart like an arrow. He repeated it to himself. Where had he been? Honestly, he had been contemplating death. Montgomery's, Kate's near miss, his own. It seemed to him that everything had suddenly caught up with him, like everyone else was paying for his past sins..everyone but him. And that feeling had been unbearable. He'd nearly made the wrong choice. But what would he tell Beckett? That he had taken off as soon as she'd been carried to safety? That he'd dodged phone calls until he'd shut the damned thing off? That he'd walked to the top of his building and straddled the edge until he'd lost nerve? Or that he had collapsed, right then on the roof, and nearly dissolved in his own tears? No. He couldn't tell her that. Instead, he took a breath and shut his eyes.<p>

"I was waiting. I-I wasn't sure. But now I am. You're alive, Kate."

* * *

><p>Kevin swayed, and Montgomery reached out to steady him. Ryan flinched, and then muttered an apology.<p>

"May I come in?" Kevin was still off balance, but he waved his former captain inside. Javier stood in his way, and Roy asked him, politely, to step aside. He did not. They eyed each other until Montgomery backed down and dropped his gaze.

"How dare you," he began lowly. Kevin seemed to find himself again and put a hand on his shoulder. Esposito shook him off.

"You are _dead._ You _died. _And we..we _buried_ you. And you're here right now?" he shook his head, "No. I refuse to believe that." Javier got in Roy's face.

"Did you plan this? You did, didn't you? You're...you're _unbelievable_!" He shouted, incredulous, "Your wide and kids..they _cried_ for you. _How. Could. You_?" When Montgomery raised his eyes again, they were slick with unshed tears.

"Don't you think I _know_ that?" he whispered, "Don't you...But it had to be done. It had to. And I couldn't..I couldn't tell-"

"Don't give me that. You could have, and you damn well know it!" With that, Esposito opened the door and left the apartment.

* * *

><p>Alexis Castle paced the floor of the apartment miserably. The consistent, sharp <em>click clack<em> of her heels against the floor was relentless. She'd been at it for hours. Martha watched her grand daughter with a strange mix between apprehension and sympathy. She had given up tryign to contact Richard hours ago. If she knew her son (and she did), he would be back whenever he could be. Alexis sat beside her and put her head in her heads.

"Do you think he's okay?" Martha put down her wine glass and studied its half- empty contents.

"He's fine, dear. He's with Kate." Alexis flipped her curtain of fiery red hair behind her and propped her head up with her fist.

"But how do you _know_?" Martha laughed, albeit a little sadly.

"Alexis, I'm his mother. I know you've seen how strangely your father has been behaving lately; you're not stupid. And I know he hadn't told you everything because he hasn't quite told me everything. But he will when he's figured it out, just as he'll come home when he's ready. He's just trying to put Kate back together without falling apart himself."

* * *

><p>Kate was beginning to wake up, and the first thing she noticed was the pain. And <em>damn, <em>it hurt. She'd fallen back asleep after her short exchange with Castle. And speaking of...He was at her side, murmuring a nearly silent prayer.

"...And I know that I hardly pray...okay, I'm not going to lie, I never pray...But please, _please_ let her be okay. Keep her safe. You saved her once, and she's alive. Physically, she's alive. She's fine. But I don't think she remembers. And I'm begging you: Let her forget. Everything. Please. Because...I don't know how she'll react. And I need her to stay stable. Okay? T-thank you.." Richard moved, and Beckett made haste to close her eyes.

"Kate? Are you awake?" A sudden thought struck her, the first complete memory she'd been able to recall in a long time.

_"Kate, I love you." _Had Castle really said those words to her? Somewhere in her, she wanted to think, no, no he hadn't spoken those words, no she hadn't heard them, no...But in her heart of hearts, she knew he had. And Kate was at a loss for words. He'd sounded desperate, sure, so maybe...but he'd meant it; she could feel it, even now. He loved her. That new knowledge sat heavily upon her shoulders. She opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was Richard's smile. The second was Josh.


	3. Memories

_**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated! I'm like updating as I'm writing this in school. Still working on the Criminal Minds fic. It's due soon. I should hurry up. Disappointed there were no reruns. September? That's. So. Far. Away. Anyways, R&R as usual, thanks for reading! Yours till the wheels fall off.**_

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><p>"<em><strong>Oh, memories, where'd you go? You were all I've ever known. How I miss yesterday, and I let it fade away. Where'd you go?"-Panic At The Disco<strong>_

* * *

><p>Esposito had stalked past his car, as he hadn't trusted himself to drive. Instead, he had taken the bus, and gradually, stop by stop, the alcoholic buzz and furious anger began to dissipate until he arrived at his own apartment dizzy, confused, and tired beyond belief. Lanie was waiting for him inside. Her sudden appearance out of the dark startled him.<p>

"I'm sorry." There was sorrow in her eyes as she pressed herself against him, hugging him tightly.

"It's fine," he said distractedly. His mind was still on Montgomery's sudden reappearance. He couldn't tell Lanie. No matter how angry he was at his captain..He wouldn't betray him. He couldn't.

"What are you thinking about?" Javier shook his head.

"Nothing. How's Beckett doing?" Lanie studied him closely, as if she _knew_ he was hiding something from her, something important. He dropped his gaze.

"Good. She's doing good. Castle's with her now. Javier," she seemed to have latched on to a new thought, "Baby, what's up? What's bothering you? You look real shook up." Esposito managed a withering laugh.

"Kate was just shot, Lanie." Unexpected tears filled her eyes.

"I know. I was so..." Javier hugged her to him, pressing her face gently into his uniform.

"I'm sorry, chica. You've never-" Lanie shook her head no. It seemed almost ironic: someone who dealt with the dead all day was shaken up by...but then Javier shut off his brain and comforted his medical examiner.

"I'm so sorry. Te quiero, okay? I love you. And I'm gonna keep you safe. I promise." If only he could have kept that promise.

* * *

><p>"D-do you want to sit down, or...?" Ryan trailed helplessly. His head pounded with the new information. Montgomery took a seat at Kevin's table. Ryan grabbed a bottle of medicine that was supposed to stop his headache and popped two pills in an effort to calm himself-and his roaring headache.<p>

"Now," Kevin began uncertainly, "Y..You're really here, right now?" Roy nodded.

"Like alive? Because I know...I mean...it's..I'm just.."

"Ryan. I'm here. I'm alive, alright? I'm alive. Really."

"Alright. Okay. So the shoot out?"

"It happened. I was shot. Twice." Ryan sank down into a chair across from his captain.

"So you were wearing a bulletproof vest." Roy nodded again.

"The shot to the chest didn't penetrate. But the one in the arm," Here Montgomery unzipped his jacket and pulled up his shirt, exposing a white bandage, "Hurt like a bitch." The young detective closed his eyes.

"You went to the morgue. Lanie-"

"Wasn't the attending."

"Then who...Perlmutter." Kevin was finally beginning to understand.

"Right. He saw the only one I could tell."

"But who was in the casket? And, I mean, you had to have bled, because.."

"Now we're getting into trivial matters, Ryan. All you need to worry about is watching over Kate. I thought it was over, but..I'm not sure. I have a feeling it will never be over. Just keep her safe." Kevin sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Yeah, about that. I have something to tell you.."

* * *

><p>Dr. Motorcycle Boy not so subtly elbowed Castle away from Beckett.<p>

"Kate, I heard what happened. Are you okay? The surgery went well? Did they-"

"Josh," she chided, allowing a small smile to creep onto her face,"I'm fine. Do me a favor and stop talking so much, huh?" Richard almost smiled. Josh, however, did not.

"I just want to be sure that they did everything right. Let em-"

"Josh. No," Kate said, stronger this time.

"Davidson, why don't you give her a little breathing room?" Castle suggested. Josh didn't turn around, but his back stiffened beneath his leather jacket.

"Don't you have a book to write, writerboy?" Castle laughed without humor.

"That's a bit redundant, isn't it? I mean, I suppose you could have said-"

"Castle. Please," Beckett warned. He lapsed into silence, unfortunately feeling like the unwanted third wheel in the room.

"Why don't you get home so I can take care of her?" Josh said lowly.

"You may not know this, so I'll say it slowly: this is a hospital. They take care of people there. That's their job." Josh looked like he wanted to punch Castle square in his jaw. It almost gave him a small burst of joy. Instead, Davidson pointed to the door.

"Out." He knew he shouldn't have done it, but he did.

"Make me."

"Okay, boys, out," Beckett said loudly. They both turned to her, protests already on the tip of their tongues.

"Uh, no. Don't want to hear it. Leave." Josh whispered something in her ear, and she smiled.

"Okay." Richard took the hint well enough: she wanted him out. He would oblige her, for the time being.

"I'll be back later." Kate nodded. Josh ignored him. But as he left, he could have sworn he heard someone say,

"Don't come back."

Alexis dove for her phone when it rang.

"It's dad! Hello?"

"Hey."

"What's wrong? Where were you? Are you okay? How's-"

"Whoa, kiddo, calm it down! She's good. I was just with her."

"Oh," Alexis sat back down at the table, "So the surgery went okay and everything?"

"Yep." There was something off about her father's voice. She had picked up on it as soon as she'd answered the call. She couldn't tell what it was, but it scared her.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Come home." He hesitated.

"I will."


	4. Trade Mistakes

_**A/N: Hola everybody! Sorry I'm so inconsistent with updating! I'm out of school and my finals are finished! Good news: finished my Criminal Minds fic too! I really am sorry it's been like a month since I last updated! Thanks for reading and reviewing! Yours till the wheels fall off ;)**_

"_**I feel marooned in this body, deserted. My organs could go on without me. You can't fly these wings, you can't sleep in this box with me. Let me save you, hold this rope..."-Panic! At The Disco**_

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><p>Captain Roy Montgomery sat cross legged on the floor of Kevin Ryan's apartment. The lights were off, and the blinds were drawn. What with his racing mind and breaking soul, only the shadows seemed to fit him. Kate had been shot. Ryan had informed him of this the night before. Roy couldn't help but feel as though this was all his fault. If only he hadn't gone out that night, if only he hadn't made that mistake...if only, if only, if only... There was nothing that he could do now. Not without putting someone else's life in danger. He bowed his head. He missed his wife. And his girls...his precious baby girls..they would grow up without a father. He had put his family through hell and back for a stupid mistake he had made as a rookie. Montgomery sighed deeply. He'd have to place some calls, and he'd leave before he caused another tragedy.<p>

* * *

><p>When Esposito's cell phone rang, he reached for it with his right hand as the other was still wrapped around Lanie.<p>

"Hello?" he practically growled into the phone.

"Javier Esposito?" He sat up suddenly, waking Lanie. He rubbed a quick hand over his sleepy eyes and grimaced.

"This is Joseph Addams. I am your new captain, and I expect you to be in my office in thirty minutes. That is, if you value your job." He disconnected. Lanie sat up and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"What's wrong? Who was on the phone?" Esposito clenched his teeth and restrained himself. He bowed his head and gave himself a moment to take a breath. He wanted to throw the phone against the wall and scream at the top of his lungs in anger. But he couldn't. Instead, he let his cell drop to the bed and turned to Lanie.

"We have a new captain."

* * *

><p>Kevin Ryan was still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes when he stumbled into Montgomery's vacated office. Their new 'captain', after interrogating him for a half hour at Kevin's desk, had gone to wait for Javier and had ordered him to wait in his office. His office. Ryan's clenched his fists when he thought of Montgomery sitting alone in his darkened apartment. He'd barely made it to work this morning after the phone call from Addams. He hadn't wanted to leave Roy by himself, unprotected. He especially hadn't wanted to tell him that they had already been assigned a new captain. The whole thing was suspicious...and it was still entirely too early for Kevin to process any of it. He sunk into the chair farthest away from the desk and closed his eyes.<p>

"Bro, who the hell is Joseph Addams?" Ryan bolted upright and opened his eyes.

"So you didn't have the pleasure of meeting him yet?" he stopped for a moment, "Kinda strange, because he was looking for yo-"

"Javier Esposito," the man boomed. Javier turned and Ryan stood, both facing the man that was to be their new captain. Esposito gave a barely perceptible nod in the man's general direction.

"I expect an answer when I speak to you." Kevin grabbed his arms from behind just as Javier shot forward to grab Addams.

"Not today, bro," he whispered in his ear, keeping his hold on his partner until he was sure Javier had calmed himself. Joseph half-smiled and sat behind Montgomery's desk, kicking his feet up in complete disregard for the man who had sat behind it for years.

"As you already know, I am Joseph Addams, and I will be your new captain. I was appointed yesterday. By the mayor." Kevin turned to his partner.

"The mayor-"

"Yesterday? No way in hell. I don't believe it," Esposito finished grimly.

"There's going to be changes around here. Starting with you two. You are both on desk duty until I tell you otherwise."

* * *

><p>The alarm clock rang, but Richard Castle did not rise to shut it off. He never made the attempt. He simply continued to lay in bed, eyes not yet open, thoughts not yet processed. He was content just to be; to not have to think about anything. Unfortunately, the rest of the world hadn't gotten the memo. Someone knocked on his bedroom door. When he didn't respond, she called out to him.<p>

"Dad? Are you awake?" However tempted he was...

"If you can call it that," he said quietly. She seemed to have heard him well enough, anyway.

"Can I come in? I have breakfast."

"Sure," he said, scrambling to sit up and run a hand through his hair. Alexis put the tray on his night table and switched off the alarm. Sitting next to him, she rested her head against her father's. He put a tired arm around her shoulders.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay? I mean like really okay. Because..." she trailed. For once, he had nothing to say in reply.

"I hope so," he said in heartbreaking honesty, "I really do."

* * *

><p>With Javier gone, Lanie had showered and gotten dressed. All of her clothes weren't here, but she had a decent selection. The thought made her laugh. What had once been a drawer had become half a dresser and three-quarters of the closet. Sighing, she sunk onto the bed and thought about him. He wouldn't handle this change well; this much she knew about the detective. She wondered vaguely why she hadn't been called back to work as well. From the looks of it, Addams was a strong willed pompous asshole, and that was one combination that Javier couldn't stand. She knew that they would clash terribly. It was only a matter of when.<p>

* * *

><p>Kate Beckett wanted out of the hospital. She'd had the surgery, it had gone fine, and they had already kept her overnight for observation. So why wasn't she able to leave? She'd felt terrible after she'd kicked Castle out of the room, but being with Josh...She sighed.<p>

"Kate?" She nearly jumped from the hospital bed.

"Dad?" He closed his eyes and very nearly swayed on his feet.

"Sit," she said anxiously, pointing to the chair Josh had vacated earlier. He did, and held her hand between his own.

"Are you?"

"I'm...I'm fine dad," she said, studying him. He bowed his head as his shoulders shook with silent tears.

"Oh dad, don't..don't...I'm alive, aren't I? I'm okay."

"I know you are," he murmured, "You're your mother's daughter. Of course you're okay. Of course..."


	5. Half A Week Before The Winter

**A/N: Hey everybody! I'm still trying to figure out my plot, so bear with me. I think you'll be very interested in this story very soon...all I can say. Thanks for reading, and yours till the wheels fall off ;)**

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><p>"<strong>He sits behind a desk of mahogany, he whispers dreams into my ear. Though I've given him his empire, he delivers me my fear.."-Vanessa Carlton<strong>

* * *

><p>And so father and daughter had spent hours talking, just remembering and forgetting, laughing and crying..and just being together. It had been too long...too long since they had last spent this amount of time just being with each other. They promised themselves that it would never happen again.<p>

"Miss Beckett?" Kate looked up, startled at the sudden appearance of her nurse.

"Yes?"

"You're free to go," she awkwardly pointed to the officers guarding her door, "Are you being driven home by them, or should I call someone...?" Beckett reached for her cell before she realized what she was doing and cried out in pain. Her father was on his feet at once, hovering over his daughter.

"I'm fine, dad, I'm fine. My mistake." She turned back to the nurse.

"I'd like to call someone."

"I'll drive you, Kate," her father offered. She waved it away.

"No. Go home and get some rest, dad. I'll just call Castle." A strange look passed over his face then, one of relief and guilt. Beckett chose to ignore it and dialed his number from memory.

* * *

><p>"I'M SICK OF THIS!" Javier Esposito exploded, scattering various papers all over the bullpen floor.<p>

"Hmmm?" Kevin murmured, shoving up from his sleeping position and rubbing the spot on his forehead where he'd fallen asleep on the edge of a book.

"Freakin' desk duty! What the hell is this? I don't even feel like a cop! The jerkwad took my badge and my gun. What the hell am I supposed to do all day?" Ryan yawned deeply and picked up the landline on his desk.

"Take phone calls?" But he was only teasing his partner. Truth was, he felt the exact same way. He'd gone to the academy to make something of himself, to protect people. He did _not_ go through that hell so that he could take phone calls and file papers. But his mind was on more important things...like what he was going to do with Montgomery. He couldn't just hide his 'dead' captain out in his apartment forever. What if Jenny came over...? He dropped the phone and glided over to Javier's desk on his chair.

"How long do you think-"

"Bro, I have no idea. I'm so pissed I can't even think straight!" His partner dropped his head into his hands and sighed.

"I don't know who the hell this man is, but we need to get him out." They seemed to develop the same plan at the same time. Kevin grinned.

"You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" Javier asked.

"Already on it, bro," Kevin called, wheeling back to his computer to work his magic.

* * *

><p>The phone call came in through the disposable phone he'd been sent only days before the death of the 12th's previous captain.<p>

"Hello?"

"Everything's gone as planned?" He nodded and dropped his feet, sitting upright.

"Correct. There have been no problems. But one of them," he struggled to remember his name, "The Latino one? He's a potential-"

"I'll look into it." He nodded.

"Excellent. When will I hear from-"

"You won't," he replied cooly. The other caller hung up, leaving Addams slightly confused, but altogether satisfied. Nothing would stop them now. They were nearing where they needed to be.

* * *

><p>Richard was just getting out of the shower when his cell phone rang. He dove for it, nearly dropping it when he finally got his hands on it.<p>

"Hello?" he gasped, out of breath. If he was winded by simply running across the room, he needed to seriously consider-

"Castle?" His heart almost skipped a beat.

"B-Beckett," he stammered. She laughed easily, a sound that he thought he would never hear again.

"What the hell were you just doing?"

"I was...never mind. What's up?"

"I need you to pick me up from the hospital. I mean, if that's-"

"Done. I'll be there in ten."

"Oh." She seemed surprised. Castle toweled his hair dry and cradled the phone against his cheek.

"What? Were you expecting me to say no?" Kate didn't answer for a moment.

"No, I just...forget it. I'll be waiting." She disconnected. Richard threw the phone onto his bed and got dressed.

* * *

><p>"It has to be something, right? I mean, she called me instead of Dr. Motorcycle boy. Yeah," he smiled, "It's definitely a start."<p>

Kate was dressed and kissing her father goodbye by the time Richard appeared at her door.

"Ten minutes exactly," her father joked. The two exchanged a look, something similar to the one she'd seen before. Something had happened somewhere along the line...She studied both men closely as she waited to leave.

"You ready?" Castle asked finally.

"Yeah." She waved goodbye to her father and stepped out into the hall.

The hallway had become alive with news anchors, cameras, and photographers. The small army of officers was attempting to hold them back, but a few still slipped through the cracks. She stumbled as her breath caught uncomfortably in her chest. So many people...

"Castle," she gasped. Careful not to touch her afflicted side, Richard threw an arm around her for protection and guided her out of the hospital down a back corridor. She didn't catch her breath until she was sitting safely in Castle's car. As the engine roared to life, he glanced sideways at her.

"Are you okay?" She nodded rapidly.

"Fine." Her tone left no room for discussion. He wanted to press the issue, but decided to let it be. For now.

* * *

><p>He sits hunched over in the driver's seat of the car. His head is down, almost as if to hide his face from some unseen predator. But such precaution is unnecessary; he is parked within the shadows of a filled parking garage. His nondescript car neatly blends in with the hundreds of others. Hiding in plain sight is a skill of his, one he is extremely proud of. The call comes.<p>

"Hello?"

"You failed." The words, like bullets themselves, hit him in the chest.

"I know, but I-"

"There are no buts!" The caller explodes.

"Yes sir," he says quietly.

"Dispose of this phone after this conversation. There will be another taped to the bottom of a park bench-" Here he rattles off coordinates that the man struggles to write down.

"I will contact you with a new target. If you fail again, it will cost you your life. Do you understand?" With his heart beating wildly in his chest, the assassin nods.

"Yes, sir."

"Good."


	6. Coffee's For Closers

_**A/N: Okay, so I know you'll all want to kill me for not updating in so long. I can't even remember the last time I did. But I saw a rerun on Monday and I was re-inspired due to seeing Montgomery. Miss him so much, but counting down the days 'till the premier! R&R as usual? Your's 'till the wheels fall off ;)**_

"_**I will never believe in anything again, well, change will come, oh change will come. I will never believe in anything again. We will never believe again, kickdrum beating in my chest again.."**_

* * *

><p>Beckett was still unsteady when he escorted her through the door of her apartment. She had hesitated when Richard unlocked the door for her, and he hated the way she seemed to scan every square inch of the apartment before she sat down.<p>

"Do you want me to stay? I can..I don't think you should..I mean..Kate-" he trailed helplessly as she suddenly shot up again and walked over to where she kept her mother's case.

"I only got shot, Castle, I didn't die." She'd meant it lightly, but the statement fell heavily into the silence stretched painfully between them. She turned her back on him and sat down, pawing through her papers.

"Hand me a pen?" she asked. He produced one, gave it to her, and sat beside her.

"This whole thing with...this changes everything..." Kate murmured, mostly to herself. It still felt wrong to say his name. She crossed out notes that she had written in the past, and drew arrows to new information that she'd just scrawled below them. Castle studied her as she worked. She looked so strong, so sure...His cell rang, causing them both to jump. He apologized profusely and stood to take the call. There was no witty greeting when he picked up.

"Castle, I need your help." It was Ryan.

"Oh, how the tables have turned."

"Shut up. So we need-" Esposito began.

"Shh. Let me savor this moment. Detectives Ryan and Esposito need my help," Castle said, seemingly back to his smartass self. But his heart wasn't in it. He heard the partners sigh over the phone.

"Are you done? Or are you gonna gloat some more? Because we can easily-" Kevin started. Richard cut him off.

"Seriously, what do you want me to do?" he paused, "Is everyone okay?" The pair hesitated just a moment too long before they assured them that everything was fine. He tensed, knowing he was being lied to.

"What happened?" he demanded.

"Look, everyone is safe. We need a favor. Can you do this or not?" Javier said. No nonsense. Richard was slightly taken aback, but he stopped kidding around.

"Yes. What?"

"You have..connections, right?" Ryan already sounded uncomfortable. Castle shrugged.

"A few."

"We need you to see if you can dig up something on a Joseph Addams, asshole extraordinaire," Esposito told him. Castle repeated the name silently to himself a few times to memorize it.

"Who is he?"

"Our new..." Kevin didn't have to finish. Castle sat down heavily.

"Already?"

"Oh yeah. And he's a dick," Javier growled.

"We're on desk duty. Until further notice." He winced.

"I'll see what I can do." They disconnected. Kate turned to him as he put his phone back in his pocket.

"What was that about?" He sighed.

"You have a new boss."

* * *

><p>Lanie had gone to her place, eaten lunch, visited Kate, and returned to Javier's by the time he was finished with work. He burst through the front door, startling her. She reached for him, recoiled when she saw the barely restrained anger that lay in his eyes. He shook his head and pulled her to him anyway.<p>

"How bad was it?" she asked, kissing him on the cheek. He sat at the table and dropped his head to his hands. He seemed at a loss for words. Finally,

"He's a prick."

"Oh." A smile threatened to tug at the corners of her mouth.

"He took our badges and guns. We're on desk duty. If I had my gun, I'd shoot him right between the eyes. You should've seen him in Montgomery's office, acting like he owned the damn place. Wait until we tell-" A strange look crossed his face, and he swallowed. Lanie pretended that he had slipped up. She squeezed his hand.

"He was a good man. We'll get through this, Javier." He looked up at her, shocked for just a moment. And then that moment passed, and he dropped his gaze. She may have been many things, but Lanie Parish was not stupid. Javier and Ryan were up to something. She just had to figure out what.


	7. Crushcrushcrush

_**A/N: Hi everyone! I think it's safe to say that I've finally gotten a handle back on this story. I apologize again for taking so long to update! In this chapter we see more of Addams, and maybe even a little Josh/Kate romance? We'll just have to see.. Your's 'till the wheels fall off ;)**_

"_**They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, your little spies...If you want to play it like a game, well, come on, come on, let's play.."-Paramore**_

* * *

><p>The following morning, Kate Beckett was barely awake before she heard the noise coming from the kitchen. Her breath left her, and she fought to control her wildly beating heart. She reached for her gun, wincing when she climbed out of bed with it, ready to shoot the intruder. She lay her back flat against the wall before she forced herself to stride in.<p>

"What are you doing-" Josh dropped a carton of orange juice, which didn't spill, luckily. He put his hands in the air and offered a small smile.

"I'm sorry, officer, won't do it again." Beckett smiled in spite of herself and placed her gun beside her on the table.

"What are you doing in my house?" she asked, sitting down. Josh held up an empty shopping bag.

"Becks, you don't have any food in your apartment. Ever."

"Yeah, that's what...never mind.." she trailed, getting back up.

"What are you making?" Josh smiled down at her and kissed her cheek.

"I'm not telling."

* * *

><p>Richard Castle tried the door to Beckett's apartment, and took a step back in surprise when it didn't open. He carried coffee in his hands, large brown bag full of breakfast tucked into the crook of his elbow. It was a dangerous balancing act. Transferring the coffee, he sat it down on the ground and raised his hand to knock. Then he heard the voices.<p>

"...cute when you're angry.."

"...a gun, don't mess with-" Ah. Dr. Motorcycle Boy was back. Castle took a step back and studied his predicament. He had thought that he and Kate were getting back to some sort of normal...But now... It was obvious that he loved her, and as much as he wanted to ignore it, she seemed to love him back. And he had no business messing with her life more than he already had. He was tempted to leave the breakfast behind, but at the last moment he picked it back up and handed it to a pair of teenagers at the bus stop. He climbed into his car and just sat for a moment. And then his phone rang.

* * *

><p>"Bye." Kevin Ryan hung up his cell phone and wheeled over to his partner's desk.<p>

"Castle's meeting us at lunch. Says his guy found something." Esposito recognized the look on Kevin's face and laughed.

"What?"

"Bro, tell me you're not jealous!" Ryan crossed his arms like a little kid and turned his back.

"I'm not jealous!" Javier spun Kevin back around in his chair, nearly sending him flying. It was just their luck that at that exact moment, Addams strode by. They heard him stop and looked up hesitantly.

"Captain Addams, sir..." Ryan stammered. Esposito refused to make eye contact with the bastard.

"This is a police department, _not_ a playground. Behave yourselves or I'll be forced to split you up," the man said harshly, turning on his heel and walking away. Ryan's arm shot out and caught Javier just as he lunged out of his seat.

"Calm." He ground his teeth together.

"I'm gonna kill him."

* * *

><p>Lanie was still waiting for the phone call that would allow her to return to work. She was ready..or at least, she thought she was. But being at the 12th without Montgomery? She bit her lip. She would truly miss the man. He was like a father to her. To all of them. Her cell rang, startling her out of her reverie. She grabbed at it and answered without checking the caller ID.<p>

"Hello?"

"Lanie?" It was Jenny. She cocked her head.

"Is Kevin alright?" Jenny sighed.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing. He's been at work, right?" Lanie sat down.

"I wouldn't know, honey, I'm not back at work yet. But I think Javier mentioned that they were both on desk duty now. Why?"

"I don't know, he's been acting different, you know? He won't let me come over anymore. And he's just...distant." Uh huh. Was that so? So Javier and Kevin _were_ up to something. Lanie decided to play it cool.

"It's been a hard time for everybody. He's just trying to deal."

"I guess. Thanks, Lanie."

"Anytime, baby," she said, hanging up. Then she stood and grabbed her keys. She would see what the boys were hiding.

* * *

><p>"I still don't know why we have to go to your apartment. He's a grown man, Ryan. He's not going anywhere," Javier told his partner, leaning back in the passenger seat of his car.<p>

"Look, I just want to make sure everything's okay. You just don't want to go because you're still pissed," Kevin accused, navigating home on autopilot. He was running out of excuses as to why Jenny couldn't come over.

"Tell me that I don't have every damn right to be pissed!" Esposito snapped. They rode in silence for awhile.

"Bro, isn't that Lanie's car?"

"Huh?" His head snapped up and his jaw dropped.

"What the hell is she doing here?" Ryan parked and they stared at each other.

"Montgomery!"

* * *

><p>Roy heard the car drive up, and instinctively he hid. Ryan had gotten him a burner the day before so that he could contact him if need be. He had also been left with strict instructions not to call anyone else. Kevin would have called if he was coming back to the apartment. Someone rapped on the front door.<p>

"Kevin?" It was Lanie. He held his breath. Montgomery wasn't sure how exactly she had come to be there, but he knew that she wouldn't leave until she found what she had come for.

"...doing here?" That was Ryan. Roy got up and hurried into Kevin's bedroom, nearly stumbling over all of the clothes that littered the floor, he looked around him in panic. Lanie would check the bathroom..and the closet..and..everywhere. Then he eyed the bed in disdain. There was no way in hell he would even fi-

"Fine, come in."

* * *

><p>Ryan's heart was almost beating in his mouth when he unlocked the door to the apartment. They had been unsuccessful in convincing Lanie to leave. Javier had a sturdy grip on her elbow. If Montgomery hadn't hid...<p>

"You didn't kill your boss, did you?" she demanded. Esposito looked at her.

"Baby, no, we just-"

"I'm looking anyway," she said, disentangling herself from Javier and walking over to the empty linen closet and half stocked pantry. When she found them empty, she checked the kitchen.

"Where the hell is he?" Esposito hissed, looking behind him. Kevin's hands trembled.

"I don't know. I haven't been this scared since-"

"Prom night. I know, bro. We have to find-"

"I'm going to the bedroom!" Javier seemed to deflate.

"He's in there." Kevin gripped the counter to hold himself up.

"What are we going to tell-" But Ryan never got the chance to finish his sentence. Lanie's voice drifted out of the bedroom.

"Kevin Ryan! You have some explaining to do!"


	8. Finding Me Out

_**A/N: Hi everyone! I know I skipped an update yesterday, and I'm sorry. Just busy getting ready for school haha. I know that this might be hard for everyone to get back into, but give it a try? It's going to get better...a lot better. Very soon *winkwink*. (Hint: This chapter is crap because my writing just feels off to me all of a sudden. I have some sort of block that I promise I'll work on fixing. I apologize, as this isn't my best work. ) R&R por favor! Your's 'till the wheels fall off ;)**_

"_**I think she knows what I'm trying to say. But I don't know how she's finding me out...It's too late now, she's finding me out.."-Friday Night Boys**_

* * *

><p>Javier had to prop his partner up as they made their way into his bedroom.<p>

"Javi, how am I supposed to explain-" Esposito shook his head.

"We'll figure it out, bro." They stepped into the bedroom-where there was no Roy Montgomery. Ryan looked so pale that Esposito was concerned that he'd pass out. He nudged him with his elbow and exhaled. His own heart was hammering. Where had Montgomery gone? If he was outside...

"No wonder you don't want Jenny over here! This place is a pigsty!" Lanie said, pointing a heel at one of many piles of worn clothes all over the bedroom. Ryan's knees buckled, and Esposito held him up until he could stand on his own. He laughed nervously.

"Right. S-sorry. It's just...I haven't gotten around to cleaning. With everything.." Lanie's anger softened, and she pulled Ryan to her.

"Baby, I shouldn't have snapped." She looked a little unsteady herself. Javier kissed her cheek and gave her a one armed hug. Kevin stooped to pick up a wayward shirt, blanched, and then jumped so suddenly that both Lanie and Esposito had to laugh. And then he grew serious.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Just jumpy. Sorry. So...Jenny called you, Lanie?"

* * *

><p>After the partners had successfully appeased Lanie's suspicion, they closed the door and wandered back into the kitchen. Kevin grabbed an ever present bottle of aspirin and swallowed two of them before he sat heavily.<p>

"Captain?" Javier called. Montgomery walked out of Kevin's bedroom and sat across from the boys. They stared at him, mouths open.

"You were in there the entire time? What the hell..?" Esposito demanded. Then he turned to Kevin.

"You saw him!" Roy rubbed the side of his face and sighed.

"The underside of your bed is uncomfortable. And you need to clean your room," Montgomery told him. Javier snorted, and then grabbed at his phone.

"It's Castle." Ryan lifted his head.

"Take it." Esposito stood and then walked away from his partner and former captain, taking the call. Castle wanted to know why they were late, no doubt.

* * *

><p>Montgomery had taken one look at Kevin's face, and had immediately known that he was putting the boy under too much stress. He could see that the initial shock still hadn't worn off, and now he was asking him to change his entire routine just to make sure that Roy could stay alive. It was selfish. So what Ryan said next was no surprise.<p>

"Look, we have to talk about you hiding out here. Lanie got too close for comfort. I don't want Jenny coming over here and seeing you. She's already suspicious as to why she can't at the moment. I can only make excuses for so long." Montgomery nodded, albeit slowly.

"I understand. I'll make some calls and-"

"No!" Kevin's hand shot out. The sheer desperation on his face was enough to make him sit back down.

"We need to keep you safe. I'm just worried that we can't keep this a secret from everyone." Roy studied him.

"You mean tell."

"Just Castle and Beckett and Lanie. No one else. Just the people who need to know. We were supposed to be meeting Castle later for some information, but," he chanced a look at his watch and slapped his hand on the table, "Seems there's not enough time for that. We have to get back." Right. To the 12th.

"How's your captain?" Kevin shot him a look that told all.

"Who is it?"''

"Addams?" The question in his voice implied that he knew little to nothing about the man, and he was hoping that Roy did.

"Addams? The mayor put Addams in?" he demanded, suddenly angry. Ryan, on the other hand, looked hopeful.

"You mean you know something about this guy? Javier and I sure as hell couldn't dig up anything. We had Castle-"

"Bro, we gotta head out before we're late and that asshole Addams makes us wash his car," Javier said, slipping his phone back in his pocket.

"Listen..I'm thinking of bringing Castle over here tonight. Montgomery knows something about Addams, and-" But his partner was already shaking his head.

"We can't tell-"

"Look at what happened with Lanie today, man. We can't keep this a secret from everyone. I'm not talking about telling everybody yet. Just Castle. Make our lives easier." Javier put his hands in the air.

"Fine. Whatever. Now let's go."

* * *

><p>Kate's eyes suddenly flew open, and she struggled to catch her balance before she fell from her chair. Josh grabbed her at the last moment and set her straight.<p>

"No diving off of things while I'm here. They'll kill me if I let you get hurt." He sat down beside her and tugged on a strand of her hair.

"Why don't you go take a nap, Becks?" he asked. She pushed some papers around on the desk.

"Because I'm not tired."

"And that balancing act on the chair a few minutes ago?" he chided gently, smiling. She laughed, in spite of herself.

"Look, _doctor,_" she grinned, "I'll take a nap later."

"Before you fall off of something else?" She laughed again.

"Promise."

* * *

><p>Castle couldn't seem to do it. He lifted his finger to dial, and then dropped it. Then lifted it again, and then dropped it. He wanted to check up on Kate, make sure that she was okay..but she didn't want to interrupt things with Josh. Martha walked into the room and sat on the couch beside him.<p>

"What's wrong, dear?" she asked, taking a sip from her wine glass.

"It's this whole thing with Beckett and Doctor Motorcycle Boy." She gave him a motherly look.

"Richard, you're an adult. It's okay to call people by their grown up names." This won her a fraction of a smile, but it disappeared as quickly as it had come.

"I usually want to kill Josh..but now, it's.." he sighed, "Complicated. I want to be there for her, but so does Josh." Martha considered a moment.

"Have you stopped and thought about what she wants?" He opened his mouth to say yes, and then closed it.

"I just want her to be happy. And..if she's happy with that over grown seven year old, then so be it."


End file.
